Last week I wrote that I would begin journaling retrospective of the past week; however, I now believe that doing so may be more difficult than I previous envisioned. Some things that happen during the week are very embarrassing to me, but if I’m to do this to the glory of God in Jesus Christ and the good of my neighbor I must be vulnerable.
During my personal devotional time I read: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1st& 2ndThessalonians, and 1st& 2ndTimothy. I do not typically read that many books of the Bible in a week, but I love reading the Pauline epistles because they speak so well to the trials that go on in everyday Christian life. In my recitation practice of John, I recited chapters 8-14; and in my attempt to memorize John’s prolog in Spanish, I have memorized though verse 6.
Five times this week I ran in the morning for a total distance of about 27 miles. I used to run many road races when I was younger but do not run them anymore; however, in March, I ran in the Tyler Fresh 15k. I have it in my sight (Lord willing) to do so again in 2020; therefore, I am running 4 of my runs each week at my goal pace for the 15K (just under 7:30 per mile) but ½ the distance, and I’m running 1 run per week, on Sunday morning, over the full 15K distance but at an easy pace. This past Sunday morning I began running in the dark at 6:45AM. Since I began running in the dark, my eyes were adjusted to it. When I had completed my first 2 miles, dawn began to crack on the horizon. I could see everything very well, or at least, I thought that I could. Suddenly a car came over the hill before me, everything else turned dark except for the headlights of that car. Being that it is my daily habit to recite John’s gospel and that I’m attempting to memorize the prolog in Spanish, the words: “The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” (Jn. 1:4) Came to my mind. It then occurred to me, in comparison to the light of the Word of God, what we think is light in this world is actually darkness.
There are many things that occur throughout the week that I could write about, but I will just mention the three most prominent: First, a confession of sin. Recently I wrote a report on the history of the Reformed Baptist in a particular country that I traveled to, as well as a report on the trip. I sent my report to the missions’ team at my church, as well as a few trusted members who I call friend. The response to what I wrote was almost non-existent. I felt hurt that the mission and project that I spent a great deal of time on was not acknowledged. I must confess that I felt resentment. I am not saying this to speak against anyone, but that I should confess my sin of resentment. Second, I am a very introverted person; therefore, I am uncomfortable with close contact with anyone, for any reason except for my wife; also, like many men, I struggle with a temptation to lust. We had an in-service at work mid-week in which I was put into a VERY uncomfortable position regarding both of these. Finally, going to Beavers Bend in south eastern Oklahoma in the fall was an annual trip for my family. We would take the kids, meet my parents, my siblings and their families; however, since my father’s passing over 5 years-ago I have not gone, but my mother, siblings and my daughter have continued to go. This year, none of my siblings were able to go because of the life stage that they are in with teenage children and school activities in the fall. My 76-year-old mother was going by herself, except for my daughter who had to depart at noon on Saturday; therefore, Saturday morning, I packed up my bag and went. I spent the day with my mother alone, something that I have avoided doing since my father’s death.
These are merely the simple thoughts, actions, struggles and pictures of a middle-aged Christian man; who works as a Registered Nurse in an outpatient Cardiac/Pulmonary rehab; who studies the Bible, church history, systematic theology and practical theology; who travels overseas 3-4 times a year to teach pastors.